A Bedtime Story(Gone Horribly Wrong)
by Quistis' twin sister Sunny
Summary: Squall and Co. (when their in kindergarten) get woken up by a anniversary present. So Edea and Cid tell them a story of Hansel and Grettle.
1. Default Chapter

A Bedtime Story (Gone Horribly Wrong)  
  
Intro: This fic takes place in the orphanage when all of them were in kindergarten. So if they seem a little childish, you will understand that they are childs. Err...hope you made sense out of that cuz I didn't.   
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters of FF8 or the story Hansel and Grettel.  
  
"Matron, we brought home some friendssss!" Yelled Squall as him, Quistis, Rinoa, Seifer, Selphie, Irvine, Zell, Fujin and Raijin walked inside the orphanage. Zell was the first to put his little hotdog patterened backpack down. The rest put theirs down. Squalls was a hot pink one with the words "Whatever" in black all over. Quistis' was a bright red one that said in the front, "I want to be a instructor at Balamb Garden when I grow up, and to kick people's butts with the chain whip!" in blue letters. Rinoas was blue and had little white angel wings on the front. Seifers was black leather and had a patch that said "Harley Davidson" In red letters. Irvines was brown and had the words "Born to be a cowboy" in red letters. Fujins was blue and said "SITDOWN.SHUTUP. (Just like mommy used to say.)" Raijins was red and said in bold letters, "YAH KNOW!"   
  
Edea rushed over to the kids, a platter with juiceboxes on them. She guided them to the rec. room and handed them the juices. They sat in front of the tv and she turned on a movie called, "The Wonders of Balamb Garden" a 6 hr. movie that only talked about how great Balamb Garden was, that was meant for people to become convinced into going to Balamb. They sat there for six hours, mesmerizerized. Night fell and the movie ended. Then they started dinner.  
  
"So everyone, dig in!" Cid and Eda started devouring the nice ham dinner but the kids looked at the food with disgust. Rinoa shoved her plate away.   
  
"Im on a diet here!" She complained. All the other kids shoved their plates away and Edea sighed. She asked them all to tell why they didn't want the ham.   
  
"Im on a strict diet. The only food substance I can eat is hotdogs. Sorry, docters orders." Zell said, trying to keep a serious face. He pulled out a sheet of paper and handed it to Edea.   
Dear Mommy/Daddys or the peepl ho r taking car of Zell,  
plees ecuse zell from eting anyting oder than hotdogs.   
-Mr. Docter man.   
  
"I can't eat this, im a vegetarian!" Squealed Quistis.   
  
"Ham just doesn't match that mustard. I can't eat anything that doesn't match with the condiments." Explained Selphie.   
  
*sniff* "I refuse to eat a animal that was *sniff* brutally slaughtered." Squall said, pretending to hold back fake tears.   
  
"I dun want no ham. I dun like the word "ham". Ham sucks. Everything sucks." Seifer grumbled, and Fujin and Raijin nodded their heads in agreement.   
  
"QWERTY is a funny word." Exclaimed Irvine.   
  
"Alright you guys don't have to eat this stuff. And Irvine, QWERTY isn't a word, its a type of keyboard.  
  
"Oh." Said Irvine, looking down. He instantly perked back up. "Another funny word is boobies." All the kids giggled and Edea and Cid both sighed. They finally finished dinner and the kids went to bed leaving Edea and Cid alone sitting in silence in the rec. room.  
  
"So, todays out anniversary....." Cid started, breaking the half hour silence.   
  
"Yup." Was all Edea replied, and she stared at the ceiling.  
  
"Well, I got you a present." Cid pulled out a small package and Edea opened it eagerly. She first unwrapped the wrapping paper, which was very hard to do since there was so much tape all over it. When she finally tore it all off, there was another layer of wrapping paper, whcich was hard to unwrap, due to the mess of tape. There was 6 layers after that and when she finally got ALL the wrapping paper off, there was a teeny weeny box. There was a large red button on one of the sides and it said "PRESS ME". So she pressed it.   
  
"BOOM!" The bow exploded in her hands and confetti went everywhere. "BOOM!" Mini fireworks lit the ceiling and a small monkey ran across banging the cymbals. "BOOM!" The monkey blew up and when the fireworks finished, there was a little GI Joe looking dude with a parachute that said "HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!"   
  
"Wo..wow..." Edea was speechless, holding the GI Joe.   
  
"Like it?" Cid was covered with pounds of connfetti and his head stuck out. Before Edea could anwser, all of the kids ran into the rec. room.   
  
"What happened? Is there a fire? Save the hotdogs!!" Zell ran into the kitchen and returned with a armful of hotdogs, and he started screaming and running around in circles.  
  
"Fire? Save my sweet little dogg woggy Angelo!!"   
"Save the education books!"  
"Save the Harley Davidson!"  
"Save the gunblade!"   
"SAVE.TV"  
"Save the tv she said, yah know."  
"Save the pretty makeup!"   
"Save my wittle cowboy boots with spurs and my cowboy hat!"  
  
  
"Be quiet, there's no fire, it was nothing. And stop running around with those hotdogs Zell!" Edea sighed and the kids sat down in front of them.   
  
"Im not tired anymore! I read 5 books on how to be the greatest instructor in the world and I'm still not tired!" Whined Quistis.  
  
"Yeah, we all can't get to sleep!" Selphie chirpped.   
  
"Read us a story!!" Yelled Squall.   
  
"AFFIRMITIVE.STORY.GOOD." Fujin nodded her head.  
  
"Okay, what story?"  
  
"How about Hansel and Grettle, yah know?" Raijin suggested.  
  
Everyone agreed and Edea quieted them down. "Okay, okay, I'll tell you the story of Hansel and Grettle. The children cheered and got ready to hear the most screwed up parody of Hansel and Grettle the world has ever known.  
  
A/N: So, this chapter isn't very long, but its just all about how they got to the story. So, to make you happy, I'll post the second chapter later today. Sounds good? Okay! R+R ^^ sorry if it was a little OOC, but I tried. ~Quisty 


	2. Hansel and Grettle

A Bedtime Story(Gone Horribly Wrong)  
  
The kids scooted closer to Cid and Edea as Edea started to tell the story.  
  
"Once upon a time...there was a little boy..."  
  
"Can the little boys name be Zell?" Zell asked. Edea nodded and continued with the story.  
  
"And this little boys name was Zell. He had bright blue eyes and curly blonde hair. Now, Zell had a little sister..."  
  
"Can the little sisters name be Selphie?" Selphie interuppted Edea. Edea nodded.  
  
"And the little sister's name was Selphie. She had short brown hair and sparkling brown eyes. Now, Zell and Selphie had a mommy and a daddy..."  
  
"I want to be the mommy!" Rinoa said, and clutched onto Squall. "And Squall is the daddy!"   
  
"Okay, and the mommy's name was Rinoa, and the daddy's name was Squall. Now Rinoa and Squall loved their children very much..." It fades from Edea telling the kids the story to a small house with Rinoa (still little though...) cooking dinner in the kitchen. The door opens and in walks Squall. (also, little.) He sighs and sits down.  
  
"What's the matter Squally poo?" Rinoa asked as she boiled some water to cook the potatoes in.  
  
"We're running on a very tight budget..." Rinoa gives an evil grin to herself.  
  
"Then how about we get rid of the kids?" Squall gave her a shocked look.  
  
"It's the only way..." Rinoa said innocently. Squall sadly nodded and they both went outside to fetch Selphie and Zell. Selphie and Zell noticed their father and quickly ran over to him.   
  
"Kids...how about we all go on a walk?" Selphie and Zell eagerly nodded and off they went.  
  
"Why didn't they take a motorcycle?" Seifer asked, and Edea stopped telling the story.   
  
"Because there were no cars back then."   
  
"SHOCKED!" Fujin said, a surprised look on her face.  
  
"Fuji here said that she is shocked to hear that there were no cars back then, yah know." Raijin said and both Fujin and Seifer nodded.   
  
"Okay...back to the story."   
  
Rinoa, Squall, Zell, and Selphie are all walking in the forest. Rinoa leads them through some twisty roads and such, trying to get them lost. Before they left, Rinoa handed Selphie a peice of bread to eat.   
  
"Selphie...tear peices of the bread off and hide them in places so if we get lost, we can find our ways back..." Zell whispered to Selphie and she shook her head.  
  
"No! I want to eat my bread! Hmph!" Selphie snapped back and then stuffed the whole peice of bread in her mouth. She slowly chewed it as they walked through the forest and then swallowed.   
  
"Um, kids? Wait right here, okay? We'll be right back." Rinoa said to her kids, dumping them in the middle of the forest. Rinoa and Squall left and Selphie and Zell waited, and waited, and waited...but they never came. So Selphie and Zell decided to find their way back home.  
  
"I'm tired and scared and hungry!" Selphie whined.   
  
"Man, Selphie sure is annoying in this story!" Zell yelled out.  
  
"Oh be quiet!" Selphie snapped.  
  
"Let's just get back to the story..." Edea said with a sigh.   
  
"It's okay...we'll find our way home soon. Then mommy will cook us something real nice!" Zell said reassuringly. After they walked and walked they finally came to a house. It was a wonderful house. It was a wonderful house because it was made of...  
  
"Hotdogs!" Zell cried out exuberantly.  
  
Hotdogs...Zell and Selphie eagerly ran up to the house and feasted on the hotdogs. Soon, a wicked voice rang out from the house.   
  
"Who is eating my hotdog house...hmm? I only put hotdogs because the kids kept comming when there was candy! I thought only a weird child would come for the hotdogs...well, I like weird children anyways...so come on in my prettys." The coaxing voice lured the kids in and the witch slammed a cage ontop of Zell.  
  
"Zell!" Selphie cried out but the witch snatched her away and gave her a broom.  
  
"Clean."   
  
"Clean?! I would never, EVER clean a house, especially for a evil witch!" Selphie cried out. Edea ignored her and went on with the story.   
  
Selphie grumbled something and started to clean the witch's house. As for Zell, the witch kept feeding him hotdogs, and he kept on eating them when finally he got REAL fat. The witch cackled evily and started to heat up the oven.  
  
"Selphie, you gotta help me!"  
  
"It's not my fault you ate all those hotdogs! Help yourself, chickenwuss!"   
  
"Hey! That's not what Selphie said!" Quistis said. "Stop trying to tell the story wrong, Seifer!" Seifer chuckled.  
  
"Alright, I'll help you. Just wait there, okay?" Zell nodded and Selphie started to clean again.  
  
"Alright...c'mon Zell, time for dinner..." The witch opened the cage and Zell came running out. Before he could escape, the witch grabbed him and took him towards the oven. She bent down to stick him in when...  
  
"Ow! Stop hitting me!" Squall cried out, but Irvine didn't stop poking him with the butt-end of his plastic gun.   
  
"BANG BANG! YIPPIE KIY YIY YAY!!" Irvine cheered.  
  
"Gosh, that's really annoying Irvine." Quistis said quietly and Irvine pointed the gun towards Seifer.  
  
"BANG! YOU'RE DEAD!" Irvine yelled and Seifer began to chase him. They went around in circles around Selphie.  
  
"STOP RUNNING AROUND ME!!" Selphie cried out but they didn't stop. Selphie aimed a lipstick thing towards Seifer but when she threw it, it hit Squall in the face, making a huge red line going across his forehead.(hmmm...sound familiar?) Squall got mad and started chasing Selphie, who got up and ran, bumped into Irvine, and the both of them flew right into Quistis. Squall ran into Seifer and they both landed on Fujin and Raijin who had started wrestling. Rinoa ran to a corner and started rocking back and forth, banging her head on the wall, mumbling something over and over.   
  
"EVERYBODY STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Edea yelled and they all stopped. "Better...Now...it's time for bed. Go!" The kids got up and walked off to bed, grumbling. Edea gave a small sigh of relief and went to bed.  
  
THE END. 


End file.
